You Never Know

Last night I went to play BINGO down at the club kitchen. I always sit with my neighbor who is on the high side of 80 but you'd think he was maybe 65 if you didn't know better.

This other guy sits next to him. I've met him several times and he seems like a nice enough old guy. He's got one prosthetic leg which I learned last night is from having a bad knee he got tired of messing with. He said the last time he was going to have surgery on it he told the doctor to just take it off. I guess that's one way of dealing with it.

So this guy we'll call him Joe, tells me his wife doesn't cook so every day he drives to town (12 miles one way) to get dinner. I was thinking oh, poor woman, she must be sick? Maybe I should make them some meals and take them over there so they can have a nice home cooked meal.

Then he's telling me how one day they had a doctor's appointment and he wanted some coffee so his wife says go over to the Shell station. So he goes over there and there is this drive through coffee place. A little light bulb goes off in my head because I remember that there is a drive through coffee place there and I can see where this is headed.

He drives up and this is one of those "lingere" coffee stops that have been popping up all over. So he's telling me how he was surprised when he drove up and this woman's boobs are "just barely hanging in there" and how he couldn't believe they didn't pop out. (Remember this is like a probably 80 year old man telling me this story). I laughed thinking how funny that was and how the girl was probably laughing her ass off at surprising this old guy. He says "I gave her a fifty cent tip".

After BINGO, which I just missed winning every game by like one number-so not my night, I went into the bar (it's attached to the kitchen at the club house) and had a drink while I talked to one of my other neighbor friends and the bartender. I'm telling them this story the guy told me and they are like

OOOHHH NOOOO those people are nasty!

I'm like wha? They are old? Then they are telling me how this guy's "trophy" wife (there goes my invalid wife thinking) came into the bar before wearing a dress with large holes in it (I'm thinking kind of mesh like?) and nothing on underneath. EW and how this guy bragged about how he liked to watch someone else have sex with his wife.

WTH. People are freaking crazy.  I'm still blown away by the whole thing. Dirty old people.