Friends

So I was talking to my daughter and you know, since I've been home all week I've hardly talked to anyone except people in this little box on my desk so I totally had diarrhea of the mouth. Have you ever had that happen before? Where you can hear yourself just rambling on and on and thinking God.Shut.Up! But you're so happy to have someone to talk to that you just let it all go.

So yeah.

Anyhow, I was talking to her about some recent friend situations and how I'm at this point in my life now where I just wonder, is it really worth it to try to make new friends?

You wouldn't think it would even be something that you would ever really think about. You just meet someone, and if you hit it off you keep talking and eventually a friendship builds.

Or not?

Sometimes I feel like people like me and I don't really even really like them back. Does that make me a bad person? I'm like WHY does this person like me? So I end up hanging out with them and kind of being friends but then things will happen and I'll really wonder why I continue this friendship, but I'm at a point where I just feel caught up in their life and I just have to.

And then I meet someone new and we hit it off and I think AWESOME new friend material! But then they turn out to maybe not be, and I feel like I just WASTED all the at energy trying to get to know them and putting myself out there like that.

I mean really, I have enough friends maybe I should just stick with them. The good ones, that I know will always be there for me. The ones that have been there for the last 15 or so years of my life. I KNOW they know I'm weird and they must accept that because they still hang out with me. And I know they have their little quirks too but those quirks are what make them who they are and I love them for them.

Why does being friends with people have to be so complicated?