Yes that would be my husband's empty chair at 7:05 PM with my dinner that took me about half an hour to prepare and an hour and a half to cook. Not counting the salad.
It drives me crazy that I never know WHAT time he is going to be home. I pretty much quit cooking for a few years because he was never home and we were on the go so much I didn't even care. Which of course, is not that healthy for the family. I've been trying to cook dinner every night. I've been making a menu and going to the store to get everything so I don't have an excuse for not cooking.
So the kids and I eat dinner and I put food on a plate for him and then I put the rest in the fridge and take it for lunch.
And try not to be pissed off that he's not here.
YES he commutes.
YES they are busy at work.
YES I appreciate that he goes to work and deposits his paycheck to support his family.
BUT it doesn't matter where he has worked, he hardly ever lets me know when he's going to be home. If he does it's usually at 6:30 to tell me he's working late or just leaving. Um yeah, thanks, dinner is already done? Not that I'm going to make my kids wait that long to eat.
What would you do? Obviously I've tried the call me and text me thing already.
I wouldn't make him dinner.
ReplyDeleteDoes he realize this behavior is inconsiderate and disrespectful and the children see this?
Like you said on my blog this morning - yes, marriage is hard. Hard to balance everything or ever know what to do in every situation.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me sad that he's not considerate of you enough to let you know what's going on with his schedule. Not sure what I would do....either way, your kids have to eat and whether or not they say so, I'm sure they appreciate you taking the time to make a meal for them.
Seriously, stop taking care of him and show him how it feels to be disrespected. I would take the stance of only fixing meals for you and the kids, let him see what it's like to be excluded. I expect he will then get the point sooner or later once the tables are turned. He's not setting a very good example for his children at all. Hugs to you, you are obviously a great mom! I swear sometimes the role of wife is much harder than the role of mom!
ReplyDeleteDude- I wouldn't make him dinner either. Shit. If Matt isn't at dinner, he's going to bed hungry. I am not running a 24/7 kitchen up in here and frankly? He's a big boy. He can feed himself.
ReplyDeleteContinue doing what you have been doing, put his dinner in the fridge for him to get when he gets home.
ReplyDeleteIf he really is working and can not control when he gets home, well it is what it is. He is a typical male, forgets to ring or text to let you know.
Now if he's just having a few 'drinks' after work all the time instead of coming home then you would have reason to get friggin angry with him... and he would not deserve dinner waiting for him when he does decide to come home.
Perhaps you need to have a talk with him again about how it makes you feel when he is hardly ever home for dinner with his family... how it hurts his kids too?