Stop the bus I want to get off.

Life feels so overwhelming this week.Everywhere I turn there is something that needs to be done. No one else seems to see it and it's driving me batty that I basically kill myself trying to get things cleaned up and as soon as I walk away someone throws crap on the clean counter. It's just makes me want to scream.

My oldest has been telling me a lot of little white lies lately. It's scaring me a bit since I know if she's lying about stupid things like taking my bra than she'll have no problem lying about the more important things. I feel myself pulling away from her and I know that's probably not a good thing.

I didn't do any laundry over the weekend so I had a ton piled up. Scott finally got the plywood up on the garage roof so I can throw it all out in front of the washer and dryer without the sun bleaching it all out. I had about 6 loads to put away. To make it easier to find Trevor's socks (always looking for his socks!) I  sorted the clothes out in baskets, each person's stuff in a basket. Imagine my surprise when I went to grab his socks and someone dumped all the flipping clothes together. Of course everyone denies it (see paragraph above, pretty sure that's the culprit). I quickly sorted the stuff out again and later came back and they were all freaking dumped together AGAIN. I wanted to blow a gasket. As soon as I had some time I put them all away. Then I went and changed the laundry over again. One more basket of clothes that need to be put away. I swear if I could hire someone to do anything it would be to do the freaking laundry!!

Last night I left Trevor's football practice early (Scott was there and I'm starting to wonder why I'm sitting there when they hardly even put the kid in for the practice plays). When he got home he was saying that Trevor was saying something about wearing a black jersey the next day to practice. I was asking him if that meant the whole uniform or what and he was like "I DON'T KNOW" being all snappy to me about how they don't tell the parents, just the kids. I was saying maybe you should have went up and asked the coach, tell him that you were just double checking or something. He continued to bite my head off about how no one says anything blah blah blah. This morning I got up and there is a paper from the coaches saying they need to wear their black jersey on Friday to the homecoming parade. Seriously? Did he not get that the night before and read it?

I was kind of upset between the laundry and the "black jersey" so I just went to bed. At 9:00. Sometime in the night I had a dream that Scott died. In the dream I was a little upset but was mostly just worried about money. I wonder if that had anything to do with how he was talking to me and the fact that I paid bills that day...

Of course this morning I was feeling bad that I didn't feel bad in my dream. Nice, feeling guilty for something that didn't even happen!

My teeth are aching today. I hope it'sjust a sinus thing because I just got some fillings on that side of my mouth and that's the same side I need a root canal on and I really can't afford it right now.

I'm feeling a little depressed today. Sorry to be a downer.