Eye Drops

So it's 6:00 in the morning and I'm laying in bed with my eyes wide open and can't sleep. UGH it's just WRONG! I don't have to get up until at least 7:30 now. The wind is whipping around outside and looks like a horrible day out there. While I was laying there I was thinking about how fun it is to put eye drops in my son's 5 year-old eyes.

You don't think that sounds like fun??

Yesterday the Dr. prescribed him eye drops since his eyes are all red. I'm still not totally convinced that he has pink eye since we've had it a ton of times and except for his eyes being red he doesn't have much of the symptoms.

You know, wanting to scratch his eyeball out.
Or waking up with them glued shut with gunk.

Oh you're drinking your coffee??

I'm sorry..

So anyhow, I start off the process of trying to get these drops from the bottle to into his eyes by doing the obvious. I ask him.

"Can we put some eye drops in your eyes?"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" he says

"Please?? we really need to put drops in your eyes, they are soo red and they look horrible." I say

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" he says again

So I'm thinking ok this approach isn't working so I tell him,
"let me put the drops in your eyes or I'm going to have to sit on you".

His eyes get really big and he thinks about it for a sec and then he goes and lays down on the couch... and promptly puts his hands over his eyes.

I've got the bottle in hand and am trying to get him to take his hands off his eyes so I can put the drops in.

"Please baby, come on, let me just put the drops in, it won't hurt I promise!"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

So then I tell him

"If it hurts you can sock me".

He takes one hand off for a millasecond while he giggles and says "I can sock you?""

"Sure!" I tell him, because he's 5, really how bad can it hurt??

He must of thought it over and decided that hurting his mom wasn't worth getting crap put in his eyes, his hands are glued over his eyes.

So I result to force. I'm sorry. There is just no other way.

"I'm going to have to sit on you then!" I tell him.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo" he screams with a little nervous cry.

This results in the "mommy move". Have you ever done the "mommy move". It goes like this. When the child is busy panicing that you are going to put your large ass on top of his frame you position yourself over the child. Then, you quickly grab their arms, stuff them under your butt, and proceed to sit on them ever so lightly so that arms are pinned under your legs and HIS legs are far enough down that they cannot somehow come up and kick you in the head. Quickly with one hand, pry off the child's hand and proceed to put at least 10 drops in the direction of the pried open eye. That way at least the required TWO will make it in there while he thrashes his head about. Quickly do the other eye.

And whaalllaaa, your kid has drops in his eyes.

Repeat for a total of two times a day...